I finished up my errands around eleven this morning, and found myself driving through the neighborhoods around the University of Northern Iowa's campus.Living a post-college life in my college town is this weird blend of familiarity and unfamiliarity.
This small area of town was an entire world to me for four years, and I'd learned nearly every square foot of it.
I pulled over on an off street and walked into the local campus coffee shop to treat myself for getting my errands done before noon, and smiled inwardly at the fervor of conversations between students.
Oh, academia. Paired with caffeine, you set people alight.
One pair discussed the social hierarchy of their dorm floor with gusto.
Another pair discussed an upcoming accounting exam with dread.
I love this. I miss this.
I felt my smile twist for a moment and then fall.
I can recognize my faults as a, basically, first year teacher. Most of them I've at least improved upon, but allowing my enthusiasm for writing and reading to overcome the stress and pressure I feel to look basically put together has been challenging.
I do love what I am teaching. It's difficult to get out of my head enough during a class period to allow that joy to spring forth.
I'm forming habits right now though, and I'm grateful for this reminder to make joy in teaching a priority.
These thoughts are only partially formed right now, but I think they're important to keep sorting through.
It will come, Lauren, it will come. Take a couple of minutes each week to just talk with your kids. Did you tell them about the writing retreat? Have you told them about this challenge? Yes, they might think you are a nerd, or whatever term they use. But they will also know you walk the talk, that you know the struggle of writing and that's important!
ReplyDeleteI will make a point of sharing with them this next week. Thank you for the encouragement, Deb!
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